


Five, Three, One

by supercess



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: AU, Drama, Fantasy, M/M, Mystery, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-22 22:32:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17671337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supercess/pseuds/supercess
Summary: Ohno Satoshi is on vacation to find inspiration for his next art. What he finds, however, is a charming man who drastically changes his life as he knows it.





	Five, Three, One

**Author's Note:**

> Look at me challenging the fantasy and mystery genres again. I started writing this 3 weeks ago when I was daydreaming at the balcony of a hotel room at 11pm during a weekend vacation. Naturally, Juntoshi came to mind. Was originally going to be a meet cute kind of thing but turned into a monster of a fic. :)

It was on a cold and windy night, the sound of the waves crashing in the sea and the clear sky was enough to make Ohno feel satisfied. He reeled in the fizz that ran from his throat to his stomach as he took a sip of his beer.

In the darkness of the unlit balconies, he caught sight of movement in his periphery, realizing that his next door neighbor have also stepped out to enjoy the night. Ohno heard a can being opened and he smiled, Ah, a kindred spirit.

He chanced a glance over his kindred spirit and was surprised to see the other looking back at him with kind eyes. Ohno watched as his neighbor tipped his beer can as a toast which made him smile and do the same.

No words. Just a familiar feeling.

\--  
On the third night of the same routine, Ohno knew that it wasn’t by chance that both him and his neighbor steps out into the cold night at the same time. He knew, to some extent, that both of them have kept this silent meet ups in mind.

No matter what he did in the morning, he would always go out his balcony with cans of beer in hand and without fail, his neighbor would do the same. Ohno was never one to start a conversation, so he was glad when the man next to him broke the silence that was three days overdue.

“The moon is shining extra bright tonight.”

It was a statement that made Ohno look up, remembering the image for future reference.

“The wind is also extra harsh.” Ohno humored him, voice pensive. He heard a silent chuckle that made him smile.

“And yet here we are.”  
“And yet here we are.”

They both laughed quietly, it seemed they were agreeing on something that was left unspoken. They both felt the pull of each other for reasons unknown to Ohno and, he would assume, to his neighbor as well. Silence enveloped them again as they drank their alcohol. Ohno was surprised at himself as he felt the need to talk. That was extremely rare for him.

“It’s funny, how I want to keep talking despite myself.”

The man laughed, “I’m glad. You’re saving me from the other awkward conversation starters I have on the top of my head just to keep talking to you.”

Oh? A flirt. Ohno welcomed the thought of this stranger flirting with him.

“You’re welcome.”

Ohno found himself finally tearing his gaze off the moon to look over his stranger, realizing that this man was as beautiful as the night sky. He had long lashes, a pronounced nose and plump cheeks that looked like they were red from the cold.

He didn’t know if it was because of the amount of alcohol in his system but he didn’t shy away even as the man locked eyes with him.

“You’re here on vacation then?”

Ohno continued to stare, engulfed by the man’s expressive eyes. He blinked twice before realizing that a question was asked.

“Oh, yes, sorry.” Ohno frowned, getting his bearings. “I was distracted.” He blinked away.

“Thank you.”

Ohno raised an eyebrow at that, both of them were clearly enjoying this slow burn.

“You’re cute.” Ohno blurted out and the man outwardly cackled at that, shrugging. He took the final sip of his beer before adding, “Ohno Satoshi. I’ll be here for 5 more days, you?” He not-so-subtlety introduced himself and his schedule.

Ohno waited and watched as the man squeezed his eyes shut, frowning as if something hurt. When he opened them a few moments later, there was a spark of what seemed like realization in his eyes. Ohno felt his cheeks burn as the man stared at him with an intensity that he didn’t think was possible in the dark.

“Ohno-san.”

The way the man said his name sounded like a prayer, goosebumps made its way on his skin which had nothing to do with the chill. He watched as the man’s lips curved upwards in a relaxed smile.

“I’ll also be here for a few more days.”

“Great.” Ohno couldn’t help but grin as he downed his last can, feeling light. Clearing his throat, he asked, “Are you free tomorrow?”

His neighbor looked amused by his frankness. Ohno may not initiate talking but he flirts hard once it starts. Especially when he’s fueled by alcohol.

“For you?” Jun teased, Ohno watched as he finished his drink as well before saying, “Of course. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Ohno got a wink as his neighbor stood up to leave but before he did, he managed to blurt out, “Name?”

The man paused with his back towards him, Ohno could hear the smile in his voice as he said, “Matsumoto Jun.”

Simple but with an air of familiarity.

\--  
As drunkenly promised, Jun was at his door the next day. Ohno was hit hard with how good-looking he was for someone who’s just wearing a white button-up shirt, brown khaki shorts and a straw fedora. He was wearing almost the same thing minus the ridiculous hat but he didn’t look half as good.

“Good morning, Ohno-san.” Jun greeted him. “You look well-rested.” The bright smile that he was sporting and the easy conversation may fool passersby that they’ve known each other their whole lives.

“You look like a model.” He blurted out. Ohno grumbled as he turned to walk away, wondering why he couldn’t just say a normal ‘Good morning’.

He heard a chuckle from the other, at least Mr. Model thought this was funny. Ohno felt Jun walk next to him in comfortable silence as they made their way out.

“So, what’s the plan today?” Jun asked. Ohno gave him an honest look of confusion. “You asked me out, didn’t you?”

Right. “Right.” Ohno said aloud. “Sorry, my brain is still waking up. I’m not a morning person.” He said, hearing Jun mumble a soft, “I know”. He stopped in his tracks, wondering what was interesting enough for the man.

“Are you still doing art?” Jun tried again as they were engulfed in another silence, nodding towards the Ohno’s bag.

“How’d you know that?” Ohno asked curiously, his bag was generic and nothing about it says that he’d brought stuff for drawing. Even if he did.

Jun shrugged, “I saw you the other day, you were sketching the scenery.” Ohno hummed in reply, that made sense. A few quiet minutes passed before Jun said, “Do you want to grab some breakfast first?”

Ohno nodded, sighing in his mind. He should really try his best, after all, he was the one who asked him out. “Sure. Do you have anything in mind, Matsumoto-san?”

Jun grinned, “Yes, I know a place, let’s go.” Ohno noticed the way Jun’s hand reached out to grab his but stopped, folding in on itself. “Oh, sorry. It’s a weird…reflex.” He explained lamely.

Ohno managed to crack a smile for the first time that morning. “It’s okay.” He reached out to hold Jun’s hand and looking at him expectantly, “So, where was this place?”

The smile that Jun flashed him was blinding and it made Ohno’s heart flutter. He let himself be dragged by his stranger towards a restaurant overlooking the sea. As they ordered, Ohno was surprised that Jun knew the food that he wanted—was he that easy to read?

They spent breakfast having sporadic conversation in between bites. Ohno discovered that Jun was indeed a model on a well-earned vacation and he told Jun that he was on a work-vacation trying to find the right inspiration for his next art.

Staring at the view of the port outside the window, Ohno had an idea. “Do you want to go for a ride?”

“You drive?” Jun’s face lit up in a mixture of amazement and doubt.

Ohno waved it off, “Well, kind of.”

\--  
“A boat. You drive a boat.”

“I asked if you wanted to go for a ride, didn’t say what kind.” Ohno chuckled, waiting for his friend to get the keys. Jun let out a laugh at that.

“I’m intrigued. It’s been a while since I’ve been on a boat.” Jun recounted a little dreamily. “A long while.”

Ohno’s curiosity was piqued, “But you’ve been on one? So, you…go out with a lot of boat enthusiasts?” He asked, unable to stop himself.

“Not a lot. Just one.” Jun was almost smiling.

Before Ohno could probe further, his friend arrived with the keys. Ohno said his thanks and led the way, making sure that his date—can he call him that now?—was comfortable. He held Jun’s hand as he stepped on, wobbly but graceful.

They set sail, the sound of the motor filling the air. Ohno watched as Jun stood by the bow, knowing for sure that the cool breeze was hitting his skin. It also made him very aware that Jun’s white shirt has popped open and that he’ll be getting a full view of that bare chest soon. He managed to giggle to himself at the thought.

His giggles stopped, however, as the image in front of him suddenly became obscured. Ohno squinted and blinked, trying to get rid of the blur. In his eyes, he saw four boys waving at the sea. One toothy boy with hair sticking out everywhere ran towards him, laughing excitedly.

The boat stopped abruptly as Ohno covered his eyes with his hands, head hurting from the onslaught of images. What was that? He heard a shuffle and felt the heat of warm hands on his arms, holding him steady.

“Ohno-san, what’s wrong?” Jun’s voice was thick with worry.

Ohno squeezed his eyes shut, wanting to vomit from the pain. He took a deep breath before opening his eyes and was glad that he could see clearly again. As such, he was blasted with a view of Jun’s toned and tanned torso. Now, he wanted to vomit entirely from shock if he was being honest.

“Sorry,” Ohno began, eyes fixated on Jun’s chest. “Just got a bit dizzy.” He chuckled weakly, gently pushing Jun away for both of their sake. “Here’s fine, I guess. I’ll get the rods.”

A soft laugh came from the latter, “You never get tired of fishing.” Jun commented as Ohno handed him a rod that was prepared for them.

“Hm?”

“Nothing, I asked if you never get tired of fishing?” Jun repeated but Ohno could have sworn it was a statement and not a question the first time he heard it.

“It’s calming.” Ohno reasoned, making himself comfortable by the edge of the boat. “You can swim, if you get bored. Just...not here.” He pointedly said so as to not scare the fish away.

Jun sat down next to Ohno, a grin on his face. He seemed to know what he was doing and Ohno couldn’t help but wonder how many times he’s done this. “Don’t worry, Ohno-san, I love this.”

The look that Jun gave him had the same intensity as the one from last night at the balcony. Ohno flushed deep red, looking away. When they caught enough fish, Ohno brought out a makeshift grill and got ready to cook. Jun had beat him to it, taking control of the grill and cooking for them both.

“You still love grilling, don’t you?” Ohno absentmindedly said as he cut up the fish while Jun grilled. He glanced at the man and realized he was staring, eyes shining with something akin to hope.

“I do. Why?”

Ohno was taken aback, not sure why he was being asked this question—not even sure why he phrased his comment like that. Again, it felt like an image was playing in his eyes—a summer day at the sea, a man wearing a yukata, grilling freshly-caught fish.

Ohno blinked, squeezing his eyes shut again. “Nothing.” He held his head, glad that Jun wasn’t looking. “Just...your enthusiasm about grilling is amusing.” It may have been his imagination but the smile that Jun had did not reach his eyes at all.

“Well, yeah. I cook a lot.” Jun perked up and Ohno could almost see the idea swirling above his head. “In fact, would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow?”

Oh? There’s a tomorrow in this equation. Ohno raised an intrigued eyebrow at the invitation. “For as long as it’s not fish, I’ll probably be impressed.”

“Is that a yes, then?”

“Absolutely.”

They made their way back to port more at ease with each other. Ohno had loosened up and it was all thanks to Jun's amazing social skills. Thankfully, he had no more headaches after that. Once back at the door of their hotel rooms, Jun finally had to let go of Ohno's hand which he had been holding for as long as they got back to land.

“Thank you. This was a great day.” Jun thought for a moment. “Date.” He clarified, making sure the point came across. Ohno managed to let out a chuckle.

“I’m looking forward to dinner tomorrow, Matsumoto-san.”

\--  
Ohno spent approximately 3 hours quietly sketching before he felt the pull of the balcony that night. Maybe the balcony was magic because despite going out with his stranger, the pull was still evident. He dropped his brush and grabbed a can of beer, determined to not spend the whole night outside.

“Are you doing this on purpose?”

Ohno turned, laughing as he realized that Jun had walked out at the same time as him. “I'd like to ask you the same thing.”

It felt different having a conversation in the balcony. It was like they were in their own private bubble, even if they were separated by a few inches of safety bars.

“Cheers.” Jun raised his can, finally stepping closer to actually reach out and toast their beers together.

“Cheers.” He smiled, clinking their cans as they both took quick sips. They were at the edge of the balcony, so close that their arms were almost touching.

Three days ago, they were strangers. Now, they still technically are but the attraction has been validated. Ohno noticed that they think alike, bringing just one can.

Jun finished his drink and cleared his throat. Ohno turned to him, drink still half-full. “I'm gonna head in first.”

“Go ahead, I'll just finish this.” Ohno smiled at him before drawing his attention back to the darkness of the sea. Again, he felt Jun's intense gaze and his heart fought to jump out of his chest.

“Oh and one more thing,” Jun started, Ohno felt a shuffle next to him and when he turned his head, Jun was holding onto the railing, pulling himself up and out towards Ohno’s balcony on his tiptoes.

A kiss landed on Ohno's lips.

It was a peck until he felt a sly smile, Jun moving to kiss him properly. Before Ohno knew it, he was reciprocating with eyes closed. It was the soft sound of their lips pulling apart that snapped Ohno back. He heard the strain in Jun’s breath as he took a step back, holding on must have been challenging.

“That was…” Ohno breathed out, face flaming. “...extremely dangerous.”

Jun let out an equally breathy laugh. “Good night, Ohno-san. I'll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, good night.”

\--  
Contrary to expectations, Ohno was not greeted by a charming lad at his hotel door the next day. In fact, he didn't see him until 6pm after Ohno had done all his daytime activities.

“Ah, Ohno-san, I was waiting for you.” Jun began as he walked briskly towards him with a grin. Ohno responded with a small smile. In one whole day, he forgot how nice it was to see this man's face.

“When you said dinner, you really meant it huh.” Ohno quipped, making Jun laugh and give him an apologetic kiss on the cheek. Ohno didn’t complain. “You've been busy?”

“Very. I hope you're hungry.”

“Starving.” Ohno held Jun's gaze, breaking only to look at the inviting hand that was extended to him. He took it and was surprised when Jun inspected his palm.

“Your hand is tired again.” He observed, massaging it slightly, carefully even.

Ohno shrugged, “I had to pass the time somehow.”

He usually didn't like massages but Jun was hitting just the right spot on his hand, it made him wonder why he knew how to do that. As he walked up to the room, he couldn't help but stare at Jun's back. The way Jun was holding his hand, the way he was gently caressing it with a thumb, the way they walked hand in hand. Something seemed eerily familiar, but what? It was making his head hurt again.

“Matsumoto-san?” He heard Jun hum in response. “Do I know you?” But he was sure that he didn't. In his 38 years of life, he was positive that it was his first time meeting this man.

Ohno heard a chuckle before they stopped by the door. Jun gave him a dismissive shrug, “I don't know, do you?”

That wasn't a yes or a no. Jun turned his back on him again, leading him inside the room which smelled like Christmas evening, making him forget his queries. True to his word, Jun prepared an array of foreign food. Ohno’s jaw must’ve dropped in awe as he felt Jun's hand on his chin, gently closing his mouth.

“Thank you.” Jun pre-emptively said with a chuckle, Ohno rolled his eyes playfully. Well, he was going to compliment it but Jun didn't have to sound so proud. “Go on, have a seat.” Ohno could feel himself drooling as the smell of everything overwhelmed his senses.

“Wow, this is…” Ohno was out of words.

They ate in companionable mood, Ohno recounted his day at the beach and how he befriended a bird to which Jun just laughed. Jun told him all the things he did to prepare for dinner and Ohno was amazed at how detailed the man was in everything he did, it was almost concerning. After they had their fill—with Ohno complimenting how delicious everything was—Jun brought out a bottle of wine and guided Ohno towards the balcony.

“I mean, it’s our spot.” Jun stated.

He wasn’t wrong, it was their spot. They stepped out in the dark, the moon already shining high above their heads. Jun set up the small balcony table with 2 wine glasses and plates, helping Ohno cut a piece of steak that he brought out. “I hope you’ll like this, it’s…”

“Grass-fed beef.”

Both of them stopped at that, Ohno staring straight at the steak, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. How did he know that? He wasn’t well-versed in food that’s not fish.

“Ohno-san?”

There was that buzzing in his brain again and he had to hold his head, the blurred images were back even as his eyes were wide open. This time the image showed a foreign place—a balcony looking out at the foreign scenery, the feeling of someone laughing beside him, the tinkling of wine glasses under the moonlight.

“Ohno-san? What’s wrong?”

Ohno blinked back to his current reality when he felt two warm hands on his face, his eyes finally focusing on the face of his stranger. Ohno felt his heart sink for a reason unknown to him, he knew that he was missing something but could not put two and two together.

He reached out to touch Jun’s face, it seemed to fit so well in his hands. “Matsu…” He began and there it was, the gleam of hope in the other’s eyes. “…moto-san.” He ended and the gleam was gone.

“Yeah. I’m here.” Jun quietly said. “Are you okay?”

Ohno dropped his hands on the table and looked down. “Yeah, sorry. My…head hurts.” Jun had let go of his hold as well, sitting on the opposite side of the table.

For the first time, an awful silence enveloped them. Jun was the one who broke it when he cleared his throat. “You should take a rest.”

“No, I’m okay. I just need a…” Ohno’s sentence faded as he realized Jun was giving him a look that is a mixture of worry and, sadness? “…moment.”

“It’s okay, Ohno-san. I’m sorry, please don’t force yourself.”

Ohno wanted to cry at that moment. He didn’t know what was happening to him but one thing’s for sure, it had something to do with this stranger.

“Matsumoto-san,” Ohno started, Jun hummed in response. “Do…I know you?”

“I don’t know, Ohno-san.” Jun gazed up at the moon, the corner of his eyes glistening from unshed tears. “Do you?”

\--  
“Was I ever in an accident and had amnesia?”  
“Are you drunk, Satoshi?”  
“No, mom.”

Ohno needed to know what these blurry memories were and his mother was not helping. He didn’t even know what triggered them, it only began two days ago. He knew it was connected to Jun but he was wondering why Jun was never in them.

“No, you were never in an accident and have never hit your head that hard to have amnesia.” His mother said over the phone. “What’s wrong, son?”

Ohno sighed. “Nothing. I keep having extreme headaches from weird hazy visions for the past few days. It’s…I don’t know what it is, mom.”

The solemn look on Jun’s face the night before almost broke his heart. Was he supposed to remember something? Thinking back to their conversations, he remembered snippets of Jun’s words.

“You still love sweets?”  
“Finally got your boating license.”  
“…because you like basil.”

It seemed like Jun knew him—was he a stalker? What 30-year-old man stalked another 30-almost-40-year-old man on a vacation? No. Jun clearly didn’t know him until the moment they spoke three nights ago on that balcony.

“Visions? What kind?”  
“I don’t know. It’s like, I’m seeing memories of experiences that I know I never had in my whole life.”

He was met with radio silence on the other end of the line and Ohno knew that his mother had an interesting idea. He wasn’t disappointed.

“Have you ever thought that it may be memories from your past life?”

Ohno rolled his eyes, letting out a disbelieving chuckle. Of course. “Mom, please. There’s no such thing as reincarnations.”

It was like he could almost hear his mother shrug. “I’m just saying. How else do you explain it? Satoshi, the mundane world is full of wonders. I’ve heard people talk about soulmates and reincarnations from firsthand experiences and—”

“Mom, I love you with all my heart and thank you but you know I don’t believe in any of that.” Ohno cut her off. “And stop hanging around weird people.”

“Think about what triggers these visions, for all you know, maybe there’s a someone trying to connect with you and you’re fighting it.”

“Alright, mom. I love you.” Ohno dismissed her. “I’ll see you in a few days, okay?”

“I love you, my son. And don’t be scared, everything is hazy until you believe.”

Ohno clicked his phone off, his mom sounded like a seer from those foreign fantasy movies and it made him shiver. Soulmates and reincarnations, huh? He got his mind out of the gutter and continued to draw as the sun set in the horizon. The peace was only broken when he felt someone sit next to him on the sand, crepe being handed wordlessly.

He put his sketch down, accepting the food, knowing without fail who was next to him. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I’m sorry for last night.” Ohno apologized, “I should have at least…”

Jun dismissed his apology. “Nothing to be sorry about.” There was a moment of silence with them just eating their sweets. “I leave tomorrow, duty calls.” Jun announced with a forced chuckle.

“Ah, of course.” He could feel his heart sink in his chest—it seemed like his heart knew that once this vacation ends, both him and Jun will never cross paths again even if they did exchange contact details. Ohno bit his lip, “Matsumoto-san, I…”

“Do you want to go for a drive?” Jun cut him off. “Just for old—” He paused, frowning. “—for fun. Just for fun.”

Ohno stared at him for a while, soulmates? There was nothing wrong with trying. He wanted to believe, to find something that linked Jun to his visions, anything.

“Sure.” He finished his crepe, placed all his things in his bag and reached out to hold Jun’s hand. “Let’s go.”

Jun drove a rental car and Ohno sat in the passenger seat. They went to all the tourist-y places that one could think of. At one point, Ohno had gotten his sketchbook out and focused his gaze on Jun’s driving demeanor. He watched as Jun smiled and obediently did not move too much as Ohno sketched him.

“You really are beautiful, Matsumoto-san.” Ohno honestly said, albeit with a blush. Jun reached out to caress his cheek.

“So are you, Ohno-san.” He said, glancing towards Ohno quickly before turning his focus back on the road. “No matter when I meet you.” Jun muttered under his breath which he must’ve thought Ohno didn’t hear.

But he did and again, a flash of vision appeared in his mind. Hawaii, crab-cream croquette, a laugh and a voice calling him an old man. Ohno blinked and whipped his head around towards Jun, trying his best to think if it was him.

He got nothing.

\--  
They drove back to the hotel hand in hand, Ohno could feel that Jun didn’t want to let go. What started as a silent rendezvous in the balcony turned out to be the sweetest and the most confusing few days in Ohno’s life.

By the time they got to Ohno's door, even he was reluctant to let go. So many questions in his mind were unanswered. What were those visions? How come he only felt things were familiar but he couldn't remember? Was his mother right? Who was Matsumoto Jun?

“Matsumoto-san, I still have a few drinks in my fridge.” Ohno began, an invite hanging in the air. Jun nodded with a smile.

“Okay.”

They drank in the balcony, Ohno brought out all his stash of alcohol as he was determined to get answers from Jun. He could feel the buzzing in his ear and knew that once he finished the drink in his hand, he’ll be on the point of no return.

And so he did, knowing full well that Jun was watching his every move.

“I’ll change my question.” Ohno suddenly began, no context. Jun’s eyes were swimming with the alcohol in his blood as well. “Do you know me, Matsumoto-san?”

Jun opened his mouth to answer but bit his lip before he could. “Ohno-san…”

“I know that you do. I feel that you do.” Ohno calmly continued even as the adrenaline pumping in his veins told him to go hysterical. “Tell me, why do you know me?”

‘Why do you know me?’ There was a voice in his vision now, his own voice—same words but accusing, scared. He fought the blur but eventually had to shut his eyes, mind swirling as he saw a man being taken away by what seemed like the authorities and a plead of ‘Please, believe me’.

Ohno felt Jun’s hand hold him steady, not a first in these few days. He opened his eyes and held Jun’s gaze. “I keep having these visions ever since we went out,” Ohno finally admitted. “And I don’t know what they are.”

He saw the pained expression on Jun’s face as he said those words.

“This is going to sound absolutely insane but if my mother is right,” He continued. “If reincarnations and soulmates are real. If it’s you, if it’s us then please.” Ohno grabbed Jun by the arms, his visions were becoming intense. “Please help me.”

He felt the prickle of tears behind his eyes and he wasn’t even sure why he’s crying—he couldn’t make out the images now, it felt like everything was all over the place.

“I…can’t.” Jun responded in a voice so quiet, Ohno wasn’t even sure if he spoke. The burning in his head was getting worse and he had to let Jun go, holding his head with both hands and wanting to vomit. Jun immediately ran to his side, gently guiding him back in the room and carefully sitting him on the bed. “You’re in pain, Ohno-san.”

“But so are you.” Ohno managed to mutter despite the headache. He heard a gentle sigh come from the latter—Jun had knelt in front of him, resigned, with his head on Ohno’s knees.

“I’ll be fine.” Jun sounded miserable. “I’m leaving tomorrow, I’ll be fine.” He repeated, Ohno wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince at that point.

Ohno finally opened his eyes, head pulsing but vision clearer than moments before. “Then, let me try to remember you tonight.” He grabbed Jun’s face with both hands and pulled him gently as they met in a kiss.

Lips met lips, Jun initially rigid in his hold until he relaxed and let his hands caress Ohno’s body like he had every part of it memorized. Ohno sighed in their kiss as he let Jun take control. Clothes landed on the floor as they got comfortable in bed, Ohno feeling every kiss that Jun gave him and his body.

“Ohno-san,” Jun began in a whisper, bending down to kiss every exposed part of Ohno. There was a mumble from Jun that sounded a lot like “I missed you” to Ohno’s ears.

Ohno pulled him up for a kiss again, “If it’s you, I want to remember.” He whispered in his ear and could swear he heard a sob.

Jun knew what to do with him and Ohno accepted graciously. There were no visions and his sight was clear with Jun just looking down at him as they made love. Ohno felt loved. He pulled Jun down to him, chest to chest, hugging him close as both of them rode to their hearts content. He felt so close, his heart was about to burst.

“Matsu…” Ohno moaned as he continued to receive.

He couldn’t remember what he said but whatever it was, it gave the other a newfound vigor, holding onto him tighter and loving him harder. Both of them panted as they came down from their high, Jun hugging Ohno close, hearts beating frantically.

Jun pressed a soft kiss on Ohno’s temple once they’ve calmed down. “Ohno-san…” He began, a smile in his voice.

Ohno cleared his throat, hands wrapped around Jun’s back. “That was amazing…” He breathed out. “...Matsumoto-san.”

Immediately, he knew he said the wrong thing as he felt Jun stiffen in his hold. Ohno closed his eyes, holding onto him tighter but he knew that Jun was going to pull away. And he did.

“Ohno-san, go to sleep.” Jun said, pulling out and rolling sideways next to him. He held Ohno’s gaze as he said, “Don't force yourself.”

“If I like you enough, can't we just...be?”

Jun kissed his hands at that, shaking his head. “I can't do that to you. I don't want to see you in pain because of me.”

At that moment, Ohno cried because there was nothing. The visions were hazy and he couldn’t see Jun in them. He wanted to lash out for being weak minded, for not being strong enough to make sense of the visions he was having.

Jun played with Ohno’s hair and was eventually fast asleep. Ohno sighed, sleep didn’t come to him. He stood up, got dressed and walked over his desk. Getting his sketchpad, he quietly started sketching Jun’s sleeping form. He lost track of time and was still awake when Jun woke up the next morning. Ohno gave him a soft smile.

“Good morning.”  
“Good morning, you didn’t sleep?”  
“I couldn’t.”

Jun looked at the side table clock and sighed, bending down to get his clothes and be decent. He walked over and placed a soft kiss on Ohno’s forehead.

“Are you feeling okay?” Jun asked, gently running his hand up and down Ohno’s back.

Ohno nodded, heart too caught up in his throat to speak. Jun pressed another kiss on his head, lingering this time before letting go.

“I have to get ready.” Jun whispered in Ohno's hair. Before he could walk away, Ohno reached for his hand to stop him, looking down and biting his shaking lips. “Ohno-san…”

Ohno let out a shudder, fighting back his tears. Jun leveled with him, caressing his cheek as a tear fell, wiping it away. He kissed Ohno’s hand and with one last kiss on the lips, Jun pulled his hand back and walked out.

Again, the visions appeared, this time more intense than the last. Mixed images of being in the spotlight with a group of people, holding an art exhibition and excruciating pain. It felt like his brain was juggling memories a mile a second. Ohno had to run to the bathroom to vomit and once done, he trudged towards the bed, feeling his body give up.

\--  
Ohno woke up in the quiet darkness of both his room and the world outside. He shuffled in bed and rolled over to stare up at the ceiling—Jun was probably gone by now.

He reached for his phone and tapped it open, the light blinding him as he did. Ohno missed a message:

‘Sorry for not saying goodbye, I figured you were sleeping. I'll send you something as my thank you for a wonderful week. I know it’s sudden but is there anything you want, Ohno-san?’

“I want...” Ohno absentmindedly said aloud as he typed in the same words on his phone. His eyes widened as he finally snapped back to it and read what he'd written.

‘I want MatsuJun.’

Immediately after he read it, visions flooded him once again. He scrambled towards his sketches and it was like seeing them for the first time. The scenery was familiar but there were always two subjects in all of his drawings.

First, it was a summer day at the sea and there were two men on a wooden boat wearing yukatas with smiles on their faces. A memory unfolded with a clearer image of the man—thick eyebrows, pale white face, a gentle smile and a voice that was so familiar.

‘I’ll do the grilling, Ohno-san.’

Ohno flipped to the next page. It was two men with their backs towards the viewer, looking out in the scenery that looked like the nightscape in New York. The sky was so pronounced that Ohno knew he drew it first before the subjects followed. A memory of him rehearsing in New York with four other men, one standing out above the rest with his blinding smile.

‘Riida.’

Next, there were two men sitting on the sand at the beach, facing each other while seemingly laughing. A flash of clear memory followed—a date by the beach in Hawaii, snorkeling and seeing turtles, a crab-cream croquette, a playful smile.

‘Ohno-san!’

He turned to the last two pages which he just sketched the day before. The profile of a man, one driving, one sleeping—thick eyebrows, a pronounced nose, plump cheeks and a gentle smile.

Tears fell on his sketches as Ohno’s mind was filled with memories he didn't know existed. He frantically dialed Jun’s number on his phone, he needed to call him before he forgets. Unluckily enough, it went straight to voicemail. Ohno held his head as more images flashed in his mind, now clearer albeit still jarring. With a sob, he left a message.

“MatsuJun, come back, please.”

\--  
Ohno spent the last two days of his vacation on his balcony. His mind had finally calmed down and was whizzing with the newfound memories from his previous lifetimes. He still couldn’t believe it—if someone told him that this was going to happen to him, he’d probably think they were crazy. Hell, he thought his mother was crazy.

Jun still haven’t contacted him and if he’s being honest, he’s just hoping for the best. He let out a defeated sigh, feeling exhausted from everything that’s happened. It was a life-changing vacation and it was ending that day. He walked back inside his room, bags packed but before he could leave, there was a knock on his door.

“Ohno-san.”

Matsumoto Jun, in the flesh, back after two days and looking worse for wear. Before Ohno could register Jun’s existence in his mind, he was enveloped in a warm hug. And it felt amazing, like he was waiting for this his whole life.

“MatsuJun.” Ohno breathed out.

A mix of a laugh and a strangled sob came from Jun and Ohno felt his hold tighten. “Say that again.” Jun pleaded. Ohno smiled despite himself.

“MatsuJun.”

And just like that, the visions didn't feel jarring anymore. With open eyes, one by one they arranged themselves in Ohno's mind—all the pain and the happiness of all his different lifetimes. He knew that he had the same look on his face as Jun's the first night he introduced himself.

“I'm sorry.” Ohno buried his face in Jun’s shoulder. “I'm so sorry.” He pulled away, wiping Jun's tears. “You tried so hard.”

“Do you...do you remember everything?” Jun tentatively asked. Ohno nodded and the taller literally sank down on the nearest chair. “Thank goodness.” He sounded relieved. “I thought that was the end again.”

“Again?” Ohno asked, frowning. He was sure he remembered moments with Jun from two different lifetimes. “Was there...a time when I didn't remember?”

Jun let out a tired chuckle, running a hand through his hair as he started to recount his lifetimes.

“The first time we met was five lifetimes ago when I was 18, I still remember our first date and your idea was to go fishing. You looked incredibly happy.” Jun started with a smile. Ohno beamed, he remembered that now—he was 21 and was an aspiring artist and Jun was his muse.

“The lifetime after that, I met you when I was 25. I told you who I was but you didn’t believe me, you called the authorities and had me jailed.” Jun closed his eyes. “That era was relentless but I survived.” He absentmindedly held his side, looking like he was recalling something painful.

Ohno frowned, finally realizing that he could only remember Jun from the lifetimes that he was aware on who he was.

A sad smile formed on Jun’s face as he recounted the next memory. “Three lifetimes ago, you were happy before you met me. You had someone and we parted ways as strangers.” Jun bit his lip, sighing. “Your art gallery was wonderful by the way.”

Ohno recalled that lifetime where he finally became the artist that he always wanted to be from his first life but again, he couldn’t remember ever meeting Jun. “I’m sorry.” He muttered again, even if he knew that things did not end well with the partner he had in that life.

Jun shook his head, “Our next lifetime was wonderful though, we met at such a young age and enjoyed the spotlight with friends. Who’d have thought the celebrity life fits you well.” Jun chuckled. “It was my favorite life. We went places, Ohno-san, and we had friends we loved who accepted us for who we are.”

Ohno smiled, remembering Arashi. “I wonder if those three were ever reincarnated.”

There was a shift in the mood as Jun recounted the next memory. “When we met a lifetime ago, I made the mistake of telling you who I was because you felt that I was someone you knew—just like what happened this week.” Jun shuddered, reaching to hold Ohno’s hand tightly, shaking. “It was the first time I saw you in pain. I’m so sorry, Ohno-san. It was all my fault.”

A traumatized look crossed his features. Ohno may not remember Jun a lifetime ago but he recalled being in a hospital bed, dying at a young age.

“Now here we are. I always knew I was looking for someone but didn’t know who. When you told me your name that night, all of my memories flashed before my eyes. I felt cheated that I met you so late.” He let their foreheads touch. “I had to try to make you remember but I couldn’t tell you. I can’t bear to see you in so much pain again.” Jun placed a kiss on Ohno’s forehead.

“You went through so much.” Ohno wrapped his arms around him, giving him a kiss on the hair and staying there.

“It's a hit and miss for us and we were so close to missing again.” Jun said. Ohno couldn’t imagine how hard it had been for Jun to know him in all five lifetimes when he could only remember Jun in two.

Ohno looked straight into his eyes. “Has it always been my name for you?”

Jun nodded, “I guess I just love you too much.” He whispered almost inaudibly with a soft chuckle.

Ohno closed the gap between them with a gentle kiss. “Please don’t doubt that I love you too.” He pressed another kiss on Jun’s lips. “You’ve worked so hard for the both of us. I promise to make it up to you for the rest of this life.” Another kiss. “And I promise I’ll find you first in our next.”

He knew that it was a long shot as he still didn’t know what actually triggered his memories but he’ll figure something out. Jun hugged him again, slumping all the weight on his shoulder.

“We’re both a mess but you look worse, where have you been?” Ohno asked, pushing Jun’s hair back.

“Paris. I was there for 5 hours before I flew back here because you said you wanted me.” Jun chuckled. Ohno pushed Jun back onto the bed, showering him with kisses as he did so but stopped once they were both lying down side by side.

“You’re exhausted, go to sleep.” Ohno said, placing one final kiss on Jun’s lower jaw. “Let’s stay like this until your manager calls and tells you he’s ready to kill anyone who ruined your schedule.” He laughed.

Jun snuggled in closer, “He won’t. He understands.” He said, burying his nose in Ohno’s hair. “I missed you so much, Ohno-san.”

“I love you, MatsuJun.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm gonna be honest, I had no title so "5, 3, 1" means "5 Lives (for the lifetimes), 3 days (for the days they dated), 1 heart (for Juntoshi)" or whatever. Idk, it's almost 2am here so don't ask. lol.
> 
> I hope this distracts you from recent events in our Arashi world. Hope you guys caught all the references I included from different magazines, interviews and TV shows. Juntoshi going on vacation, I believe that with all my heart. Thanks so much for your time! ♥


End file.
